There’s something we don’t often name.

Not just the emotions we feel in our bodies, but how we relate to them once they’re there.

Because for many of us, feeling really hasn’t been safe.

We’ve learned what’s acceptable.
What’s too much.
What shouldn’t be there at all.

And when something falls outside of that, shame quietly creeps in.

“This isn’t right.”
“I shouldn’t feel this.”
“What’s wrong with me?”

And in that moment, something very subtle happens: We move away from ourselves.

In my own experience, I’ve often felt more pain than numbness.

And there was a time where I believed the pain was the issue.
That it needed to be fixed.
Softened.
Made to go away.

But what I began to see was this:

The way I was meeting the pain came from force and control.

Trying to change it.
Trying to move past it.
Trying to make it different.

And that energy, that pushing to make something happen, was often the very thing that created more contraction in the first place.

Numbness can feel different.

It’s not intensity, it’s absence.

And what I see in many women, and have felt myself, is the frustration that comes with that.

Because at least with pain, something is there.

With numbness, it can feel like nothing is there at all.

And that “nothing” can be incredibly uncomfortable.

It can bring up:
Frustration
Helplessness
Even anger

And this is something I find really important.

That anger (or whatever emotion you are experiencing) is not a problem either.

In fact, it can be a doorway.

Because anger has energy.

Where numbness can feel flat or distant, anger can begin to bring movement back into the system.

Not something to act out, but something to feel.

To allow.

To listen to.

Because when we meet what is actually there, whether it’s pain, numbness, grief, anger (or any other emotion) we begin to come back into relationship with ourselves.

This shows up in the way we touch ourselves too.

When there’s pain, we might try to push through it.
When there’s numbness, we might try to create sensation.

Trying to get somewhere.
Trying to feel something.

But again the body feels that energy.

And responds accordingly!!

This is something both Kate and I have explored deeply.

And one of the reasons we have created tools to help support us in deepening our connection with ourselves.

Not to create an experience, but to change how we are meeting our bodies.

Not with force.
Not with control.
Not with an agenda.

But with curiosity.

With presence.

With a willingness to feel what’s actually here.

To bring in something different.

Something that allows the body to respond rather than be asked to perform.

Whatever is here pain, numbness or pleasure….

is not in the way.

It is the way.

Because it’s real.

And when we begin to meet what’s real, without trying to change it, we come closer to something much deeper.

Our truth.

You can start by asking this:

What am I actually feeling right now?

Not what should be there.
Not what I want to be there.

But what is here.

And can I stay with that? just a little bit longer than I normally would? Maybe you want to take a deep breath and rest a hand on your body.

This isn’t about getting somewhere.

It’s about coming back.

And your body will meet you there, in HER own time.

Much love

Lisa ❤️